66:2-6 – Wives Must be obedient, Or Men Can Seek Other Wives

Introduction

It is alleged that the Holy Quran and the Islamic tradition is oppressive to women. Verses of the Holy Quran are showcased by detractors as promoting the inferiority of women, misogyny and abuse against women.

On the contrary, the Holy Quran and the Islamic tradition have probably the greatest historical legacy of the emancipation and empowerment of women. The Holy Quran unequivocally announces the equality of men and women in several verses such as 16:98– Whoso acts righteously, whether male or female and is a believer, We will surely grant him a pure life; and  We will surely bestow on such their reward according to the best of their works.

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (on whom be peace) had a direct hand in this legacy. One of the first acts of the Prophet Muhammad (on whom be peace) to shift attitudes towards women was halting the practice of female infanticide. He announced that daughters were a blessing upon the household they were born into: A person who is blessed with a daughter or daughters and makes no discrimination between them and his sons and brings them up with kindness and affection, will be as close to me in Paradise as my forefinger and middle finger are to each other.” (Muslim II, Section Beneficence).

As is sometimes alleged, Muhammad (on whom be peace) was clearly not a misogynist, rather a great benefactor in the emancipation and empowerment of women. He spent his career as a trader working for a woman named Khadijah who later became his wife. Throughout his ministry he regularly consulted her in matters and decisions as the leader of the Muslim community. Islam accorded women the right to accept or refuse a proposal for marriage, and the right to inheritance and ownership of property. While acknowledging that men and women have been endowed with different roles and functions in society, the Quran exhorts on equality between men and women in the eyes of God in that both will be rewarded solely on the basis of their deeds (see section below ‘Fundamental Teachings of Islam About Women’).

The women of the family of prophet Muhammad (on whom be peace) became revered figures and great examples among Muslims which aided in shifting attitudes about women. His first wife Khadijah (ra) was a business leader and his trusted advisor. His daughter Fatimah (ra), known for her piety, was a great example to the Muslim community. And his wife Ayesha (ra) came to be known as a religious and community leader.

O Prophet! why dost thou forbid thyself that which Allah has made lawful to thee, seeking the pleasure of thy wives? And Allah is Most Forgiving, Merciful. Allah has indeed allowed to you the dissolution of your oaths, and Allah is your Friend; and He is All-Knowing, Wise. And when the Prophet confided a matter unto one of his wives and she then divulged it, and Allah informed him of it, he made known to her part thereof, and avoided mentioning part of it. And when he informed her of it, she said, ‘Who has informed thee of it?’ He said, ‘The All-Knowing, the All-Aware God has informed me.’ Now if you two turn unto Allah repentant, it will be better for you, and your hearts are already so inclined. But if you back up each other against him, surely Allah is his Helper and Gabriel and the righteous among the believers; and furthermore, all other angels too are his helpers. It may be that, if he divorce you, his Lord will give him instead wives better than you — resigned, believing, obedient, always turning to God, devout in worship, given to fasting, both widows and virgins. (66:2-6)

Allegation

It is alleged that this verse sets a warning that women should be obedient or men can seek other wives who will be obedient.

Context

These verses were revealed to the Holy Prophet (on whom be peace) after his wives as a group made a demand of him that, like other Muslim women, they should also have the amenities of life and comfortable living. This was at a time when the Muslims gained a large amount of wealth after their previous period of austerity. Although, as the leader of the Muslims, the Holy Prophet (onw hom be peace) could have easily fulfilled this demand, he felt it was against the high standard of self-sacrifice and a life of simplicity that was his hallmark as a prophet of God and a model for mankind. Just as this was the example of the Holy Prophet (on whom be peace), his wives were also expected to serve as exemplars.
 
At the time of this demand the Holy Prophet (on whom be peace) temporarily separated himself from his wives, a remedy which is prescribed by the Holy Quran when there are serious domestic disturbances. In reality this is a beautiful solution in that it allows the resolution of conflicts free from anger and passion.
 
The question of obedience comes in verse 6 which describes an ideal wife as “resigned, believing, obedient, always turning to God, devout in worship, (and) given to fasting”. The emphasis here is actually on a women’s duty towards God and in turn her husband. The word “resigned” is a translation of “Muslima” and refers to an individual submitted to the will of God, as any true Muslim is expected to be. Obedience here refers to obedience towards both God (which always takes precedence) and her husband. This is in line with the Islamic prescription for domestic harmony which places a heavy emphasis on the characteristics men should adopt towards their wives such as kindness, respect, and generosity, and the characteristics that women should adopt their husband, including obedience and fealty. This is a potent and simple antidote to the confusion that many couples have in this day and age that leads to marital strife and domestic disharmony and allows them to build on a solid foundation of roles and obligations.
 
The emphasis on one’s godly role and duty towards his or her spouse is equally applicable to men. Islam accorded women the right to a divorce. If a man does not fulfill his obligations and his function as a husband falls short, the woman has just as much right to seek another husband.